Wednesday, September 08, 2004

The Stress test of the Lambs

Sometimes a little thing will only bother me a little at first but will build inside me as I think about it.

During yesterday's stress test procedure, they had to shave little spots on my chest to place electrodes. Okay. I mean, it still itches, but okay, if that's what they need to do. That's not what bothered me.

What bothered me is that the person heading up the procedure turned to Evan, the cute med student who was there to learn, and said, "sometimes you need shave their chests if they're hairy."

I know, I know. So what? Well, excuse me, but if you're working on me at the time, you could at least say, "if the patient..." or state it in some less impersonal way. "We're shaving spots on Jess' chest, so the electrodes stick." For that matter, I'd be tickled if they used my last name, but that level of manners has all but disappeared. So...

"They"? Am I an object now? Trust me, it was cold. Not nice bedside manner. It reminded me of one thing in particular--a scene from The Silence of the Lambs...

"It rubs the lotion on its body..."

Lovely. Just lovely.

Oh, one last thing. "Evan the med student", if you happen to read this (which is about a one in a bazillion chance, I know), be sure to say hi. I'm sure Marc would like to meet you as well. We could say thanks in some appropriate way for you being so nice to me yesterday! ;)

4 comments:

Nicole said...

First, hope you get to feeling better soon!

But your post made me laugh... Med students (and residents... and, yep, well, doctors) are just clueless like that sometimes.

Also, you just reminded me of how my best friend likes to say "puts the lotion in the bahhsket" at random, sometimes inappropriate times. Hee.

Michael Vernon said...

I love it! I had surgery about two years ago, and they give you that "don't give a damn shot" before they actually put you to sleep. The last thing I remember is looking at a cute med student and saying, "you're kinda hot. What time do you get off today?" Ahhh, the world-famous "I don't give a damn shot." Oddly, they waited until I was asleep to shave me, and I'm glad, because it was hernia surgery, so you KNOW where they had to shave.

Wayne said...

Excuse me? I'd like to meet him too.

And, of course, feel better soon :)

Bruce said...

Jess, you are so right.
For those needle jockeys to be talking about you in front of you as if you weren't there was completely inappropriate.
The last time I was in for a serious procedure, I was treated with quite a bit of respect, I must say. And by some cutie-patooties, to boot. Too bad my procedure was so horrific, I've never described it and never will. Mwha ha ha ha!
It's too bad you're not some high muckey-muck in the hospital and can't yell at them.
Oh, wait...