A new low in retail mathematics

After my last post, Marc and I went to run a couple of errands. Now, I don't want to sound like an octogenarian, but when I was a kid working in retail we counted out change from the register. It helped to even have some basic math skills.

Okay, I'll even admit to torturing some of these kids. If something comes to $4.87 and I have the change, I'll hand over $5.12. Even with registers that do the math for them, they often look at the money in their hand, then at me, then back at the money. On occasion, it has gone on long enough for me to say, "just punch it into the register." On other occasions, I've had the person say, "no, it's $4.87," in a tone like I'm an idiot. Then I get really helpful. "Yes" is all I'll say, and then I'll just stand there staring. Oh, it's such fun. One of these days, I'm going to lose what little self-restraint I have and just say, "you might have some idea what's going on, if you paid any attention at all in math class." Geez, you'd think I was expecting them to do linear algebra!

So tonight, at one of our stops, I was in line behind a woman who paid for her purchase and was going to get exactly nine dollars back in change. She told the guy behind the register (a full-grown man, by the way, but quite representative of what I've seen in the skills of many manning registers around here) to hang on a second, and she dug in her bag for a one dollar bill. She held out the dollar bill, so she could get a ten back.

"No, it's already done," he said, indicating the register. He then said that if he didn't follow what the register said, he'd get confused.

Oh, this was too much! The lady was owed nine dollars change, held out a one dollar bill, and he couldn't add that up and give her a ten? His parents and all of his teachers should be rounded up and jailed for a year or two, just to make a point! What the hell are things coming to?

Too bad Patsy didn't live to see it

News came today of the arrest of a suspect in the murder of JonBenet Ramsey. As I'm sure everyone remembers, the parents were suspected by many. Bad enough to lose a child--and so brutally--but to have people blaming you must be a special kind of torture.

Yes, having dressed her up, put makeup on her and entered her in "Who's the prettiest six-year-old hooker?" contests didn't help. The whole situation seemed odd. Still, in recent years, I read newspaper reports that said authorities were confident that the family wasn't involved, and now we're learning of the arrest of a "41-year-old elementary-school teacher."

My first reaction was that it was terrible that the victim's mother didn't live to see the arrest, but I feel a bit better, since the article says that she was kept in the loop and knew they were closing in on a suspect before her death in June of cancer.

Hopefully, mother and daughter are in a better place and are somewhat more at peace, now that an arrest has been made.

It smells wonderful already

As I'm typing this, the house is filling with great smells. I was just saying to Marc that it's funny how much higher the quality of our average meal is when we're dieting. Well, really, I am dieting. Marc's keeping me company. He has a few extra pounds he wants to lose, but his diet really involves his current clothes fitting better, whereas my diet involves (hopefully) winding up in a whole new set of clothes!

So this afternoon, having missed lunch (not a good thing when one is dieting), we needed to make something good for late lunch/early dinner. Marc reminded me of a stuffed peppers recipe I used to make. It was a favorite of mine a while back, and it's completely diet-safe.

BTW, we're taking a low-carb approach. The details aren't important, but the short description is that it's not as extreme as Atkins (since you eat more veggies, fruit, and a small amount of bread). It's the only diet that ever really worked for me. I've lost small amounts trying other diets, but this really worked! Unfortunately, I've since gained most of the weight back (but at least not every bit of it). So I'm back at it, with my babe's help and encouragement.

This afternoon, as I did things around here, Marc ran out and bought four green peppers and almost three pounds of beef.

To the beef, I added two eggs, chopped garlic, fresh basil from the garden, oregano, onion powder (yes, I cheated on that), red pepper and a bit of Heinz low-carb ketchup (it's just easier than tomato paste). We then cut the peppers in half, removing the extraneous matter (seeds and such) and put them in a pan. One by one, I stuffed each pepper and then put a thin coating of the ketchup on top of each.

By the time I was done, the Trivection oven was ready (since I started it up right before I started stuffing the peppers). I told it that these were beef and that I'd normally bake them for 75 minutes at 325 degrees. It said, okay, that will take 25 minutes. I just love this oven!

Of course, I'll use the meat thermometer to double-check the internal temp before I pull them from the oven, but the oven's usually pretty accurate in its approximations of cooking time.

In the short time it has taken to type this, the odors emanating from the kitchen have gotten even stronger. It smells fabulous. I sure hope it is when it's done!

(Oh yeah, we're also roasting some asparagus to go with the meal, but that pales in comparison!) :)

Wish I'd thought of it first

This is such fine work, in the best smartass tradition, that I can't help but admire the guys who started it and wish I'd thought of it myself.

Apparently, Amazon.com has been selling food for some time. So a couple of guys decided to use Amazon's product review feature to have some fun. Since they kicked off the effort, others have joined in. Some sample comments from the article:

"I give this Tuscan milk four stars simply because I found the consistency a little too 'milk-like' for my tastes."

"One word of caution-—milk, even when frozen into a baseball-bat shape, is nigh worthless as a baseball bat, merely shattering into cloudy fragments at the first strike of a baseball."

"Tuscan Whole Milk ruined my life. I have no further details to add."

The article ends with a mention of this having spread to green seedless grapes. I can't help but wonder how far it will go! :)

The poor man!

The little newsstands found throughout New York's Penn Station are staffed mostly by men who appear Indian or Pakistani or of similar origin. They all wear nametags, and the names tend to be unusual by traditional American standards.

No surprise there, I suppose, but I saw one this morning that I really wouldn't want pinned on me. The man's tag read "ASHIT."

I wonder if anyone has clued him in. In any case, it was hard to keep from breaking into a broad grin... but I managed (at least until I was out of his sight). Yeah, I know. I'm bad. :-)

Quotations

I follow a few pages that offer interesting/insightful/humorous quotes. Mr. H.K. runs a good one. Another, to which I must give the credit for the collection I'll post today, is The Quotations Page. So here's a collection of favorites I've saved up over the course of a large number of months. Some amused me. Some made me think. I hope you enjoy them.

"We need a president who's fluent in at least one language." -Buck Henry

"The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage." -J. Jacques

"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy." - Edgar Bergen

"There is scarcely anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse, and sell a little more cheaply. The person who buys on price alone is this man's lawful prey." -John Ruskin

"About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends." -Herbert Hoover

"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity." -Harlan Ellison

"In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms." -Stephen Jay Gould

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you." -Rita Mae Brown

"Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home." -Bill Cosby

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." -Galileo Galilei

"It is a curious thing... that every creed promises a paradise which will be absolutely uninhabitable for anyone of civilized taste." -Evelyn Waugh

"I've gone into hundreds of [fortune-teller's parlors], and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her." -A New York City detective

"When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it." -Clarence Darrow

"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." -Thoman Jefferson

"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?" -Abraham Lincoln

"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men." -Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

"New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move." -David Letterman

Holy crap!

I knew today's visit to the veterinarian would be pricey. Such visits always are. Still, this was a new record.

So how bad? Well, first, let's go over what we had done:

-2 dogs (Bernice & Mandy) had their tune-ups (lube & oil and rotate the paws). Dodger isn't due yet.
-All three dogs had their teeth cleaned.
-All three dogs were sent home with antibiotics, as they always get after getting their teeth cleaned. Dogs need that precaution after cleanings.
-Two dogs got their boxes of Sentinel (monthly anti-heartworm (and other things) pills.

Since we have three dogs, we get a discount for bringing them all in. The grand total? After our 10% discount... $1,700!!!

Yes, $1,700. We spend more on their healthcare than we do on our own! *sigh*

Well, I'd be heartbroken if any of them got sick, so I guess it's worth it.

Now I just have to figure out how to scrape together $1,700 before the credit card bill gets here!

A solution to the hurricane threat

Every year, we have to worry about potential devastation from hurricanes.

Worry no more! I have the solution!

In past years, some have proposed seeding hurricane clouds, with things like silver iodide or dry ice, to weaken them. I submit that it's too late by then. It's even too late once it gets to be a tropical storm.

What they need to do is act while it's a tropical depression. While it's a depression, seed the clouds with anti-depressants! It's that easy! A relatively small investment in Prozac or Zoloft, and the problem's solved!

Mortgaging the future in the name of big oil

Read here and here:

House Majority Whip Roy Blunt (R-Mo.) said he would oppose global warming mandates if Republicans control the 110th Congress. "I think the information is not adequate yet for us to do anything meaningful," he said.

The GOP leadership in action. Not that there's anything surprising here in his attitude, but it's still amazing to see what these clowns will say!

A nice thing to see

For all the times people disappoint me, there also are the good moments. Little things that make a difference.

Yesterday, I was waiting in line to get coffee at a place near work. The guy in front of me went to pay with a five dollar bill. The owner shook his head and said, "here, this is yours," and handed him a ten. The owner then explained to the customer that he'd paid with a twenty the prior day and left without taking his change.

A simple act of honesty. Is it sad that I was so pleased to see this? Maybe my view of my fellow human beings has sunk a bit low. Well, whatever the case, it made me feel a bit better about people in general.

Sunday wanderings

There's no real point to this post. I took the little Canon Elph with me as we did errands today and took some photos. I didn't even remember to take a shot at every stop, but here are a few I did take...


We went to the Central Mail Facility. Things dropped off here get moving faster than if we leave them at our local post office.


The State owes me some money. They found a b.s. excuse to send back my papers, so I don't want to waste any more time getting it back to them. I used this do-it-yourself machine at the Central Mail Facility to weigh the papers and get them on their way.


Then I put a bunch of envelopes in this lovely mailbox. And what's the deal? The Postal Service can't even manage to sand and repaint this mailbox? Will the whole thing have to rust first?


We made a vital Petco stop.


Browsing the aisles for just the right dog food. Not to suggest that our kids are spoiled, but there are some flavors they refuse to eat.


Loading up the cart.


Maybe I should subscribe to this magazine. Then when I'm standing on the subway platform and one skitters along the tracks, I can enjoy the sight! (Really, people, I'm an animal lover, but rats as pets? Can't you just get a puppy or a kitten? There are millions in desparate need of homes!)


Have to love a store where the cashier has an avian assistant.


Later, we stopped at Trader Joe's.


A handful of our items.


Of our local supermarkets, this has one of the crappier outward appearances, but it's actually a good store. We often stop here on the way back from Trader Joe's (for the many things TJ's doesn't have--or doesn't do well).

Well, there you have it--a sampling of our Sunday travels. Exciting, huh? Well, it beats a poke in the eye with a sharp stick!*

*Thanks to Matt for getting that phrase stuck in my head. :)

The real Mel Gibson stands up

Now we need him to go away. Hey, Mel Gibson, fuck you!

I had long suspected that he was a gay-hating anti-Semite. While this weekend's news doesn't address his homophobia, there's no question about his anti-Semitism anymore. Go to hell, you disgusting bigot!

Coffee the way it should be

We like coffee, but neither of us has been satisfied with most cups of coffee. When we're at restaurants, ordering a cup of coffee is a crapshoot. Even at home, where we have the best quality coffee we can find and a very good machine, it never came out the way we wanted.

So how did we want it? Well, whenever we'd go to France, we'd order coffee wherever we could. Time after time, we'd order coffee and get a great cup. Wonderful, smooth flavor. That little bit of oil from the coffee beans floating on top of the coffee before it gets stirred. Not just good... great! So what could we do to get closer to this at home?

Well, one thing we encountered regularly was the french press coffee maker. Well, it was France, after all, but perhaps this was part of the trick. We'd certainly heard that the french press was one of the best ways to make coffee. So we went to Bed[,] Bath & Beyond to do some shopping, and we found what we needed: a Bodum Chambord 8-cup French Press. Here we see it during its first use (this is before being pressed):



Interesting thing about those eight cups it makes. They're eight "four ounce" cups. Four ounces? Maybe some people drink cups of coffee that size, but those people aren't me (or Marc)! :)

We grind our own coffee beans. For the french press, they have to be kept to a coarse grind. It takes the same amount of coffee beans for this french press as it does to make a full pot of coffee in the regular coffee machine.

And how many actual cups of coffee do we get from each use of the french press? Two!

Yes, two. So if want some punch from your coffee, well, this will do it. Lots of caffeine! (Of course, we have decaffeinated coffee, too, but what fun is that first thing in the morning?)

Bottom line: this little thing is wonderful! It's quick, too. Just put in coffee, hot water, stir, wait 4 minutes and press. Voila! It's coffee! Wonderful!

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One last note, if I've made anyone think about getting one: when we remodeled this house, one gadget we put in the kitchen was an instant hot water dispenser. It makes the french press a lot more convenient to use. If you don't have that but you want to use this great coffee-making method, buy one of those quick hot water makers (like this one). They're cheap and will make the process a lot easier.

A field trip

We love to take little day trips. A few weeks ago, we spent part of one day going out east. We drove to the North Fork, stopped at a couple of wineries and a couple of farm stands. It was a fun day. Here's a handful of shots from one farm stand stop...




This young man, apparently a distant relative of our Mandy, was in the car parked next to us. He was very friendly!








How about that for being close to the source? This is the view right out the back of the farm stand.




My other half, as he checks out some asparagus.


I loved the name of this book!









For all the fun we had visiting farm stands and wineries, the drive out east with my baby is the most fun of all.

How nuts am I?

Today, I saw a colleague at work. Seeing him reminds me of something that irritates me, but I think it would be petty to say anything now. Still, it irks me.

So here's the deal. Weeks ago, there was a party for the staff. This colleague paid for it, and several of us management types chipped in and reimbursed him. The initial estimate was $55 each, so I gave him a check for that. When the final bill was tallied, we each had to chip in another $14. So the next chance I got, I gave him a $20 bill. He didn't have $6 change, but he said he'd give it back to me as soon as he could.

Then he apparently forgot about it. I have no doubt that he forgot--it's not like he's trying to make off with six whole dollars!

It's not the $6. If he needed the $6, I'd gladly give it to him. Much more, in fact. I'm not tight-fisted. If anything, I've been told that I tend to be too generous sometimes (if there even is such a thing as "too generous"). It really isn't the $6. It's just that... well...

I don't know. It bothers me. It's like something left undone. Crazy, right?

The math just doesn't work

We went to Eastern Pennsylvania yesterday. We checked out towns like Bushkill and Stroudsburg. We visited a real estate agent's office, and we went looking around at possibilities.

After thinking about the costs and benefits, we decided that buying a second home just didn't make sense. We considered how often we'd be able to use it, and then we started adding up all of the expenses--principal and interest on the mortgage, taxes, insurance, homeowner's association fees (if applicable), utilities, maintenance, etc. Also, we found that the cost of tolls and gas round-trip ran to almost $70.

We could rent the house on weekends when we're not using it to make a few bucks back, but that just adds more complications.

The bottom line is that we can put some money into REIT mutual funds to get some real estate diversification with as much investment value as the further equity-building this would have provided. With the rest of the money, we'll have plenty to do some extra weekends away, if/when we can find the time.

The last complication is the dogs. Honestly, as Marc and I discussed today, the dogs were a big motivation for doing this. The idea of having a place to take little weekend trips and be able to have the kids with us--and have yard for them to run around there--was a great attraction. But really, does it make sense to buy another house to simplify things with our furry kids?

There's an alternative. Having now taken the trouble to look, I've already found area B&Bs that are both gay-friendly and dog-friendly. So I think we'll stick with the one house. We like it just fine, and we can still have our little trips.

How does one manage a weekend home?

I know, I know. We should all have such concerns! Actually, I don't think we could afford a second house, but that doesn't stop me from liking the idea of having one.

Yesterday, we were looking online at properties in eastern Pennsylvania (Stroudsburg & the Poconos region). We saw a couple of nice places, but the challenges are daunting.

First of all, I don't know that we could swing the payments in addition to our current mortgage. More importantly, I started considering the logistical issues.

One that comes to mind is this--suppose the heat goes out in the middle of the winter while we're 100 miles away. First, how would we even know? Is there some kind of remote monitoring equipment that we could install? Of course, if we didn't know, all of the pipes would burst!

Second, even if we knew about such a thing, what would we do about it? Would we have some local person on call who would have a key to the place?

This is just one thing that comes to mind. There are plenty of other issues I could think of.

Maybe we should just stick to day trips and be happy with one piece of property. I just love the idea of a "weekend place." Eh, it's probably more trouble than it's worth.

Maybe the Neutron Bomb was a good idea

Remember the Neutron Bomb? For all I know, we actually have some. The idea is low-explosion high-radiation nuclear weapon. It would kill all the people but leave most of buildings intact. Whenever I'm out shopping on the weekend, I think of such things. Of course, there are a few people I'd save.

Today's icing on the cake was stepping in gum some inconsiderate asshole left on the ground. The bastard should be shot!

What's wrong with people?

This morning, I was again reading about the battle in Massachusetts to try to get rid of same-sex marriage. I just can't understand why so many people feel so threatened.

The Bible says...? Well, no one is asking you to have same-sex marriages in your church. What we want is legal equality.

The one that really burned me up recently was a guy I saw on TV who said that our having survivor benefits, etc., would be too much of a burden on the system. I see it the other way around. I know Marc and I each earn more than most American families (but we live in New York, so we stay poor anyhow). I want all of those straight families to stop leeching off of OUR tax dollars!!!

Too much of a burden on the system? Hey, asshole, I pay taxes, too! Plenty of taxes! Who the fuck are you to stand in the way of my partner of 11 years getting benefits if I die? Who is anyone to say he can't visit me in the hospital? How dare these people!

I used to be somewhat indifferent to this issue. I figured civil unions might be fine. But not now! Now I'm pissed, and I'm going to support gay marriage, just to piss off the narrow-minded bigots!

BTW, we will win this battle. It may take time, but the outcome is clear. One day, all of these people will be seen in history as what they are. Serves them right!

Let's wrap this up

I was looking at the remaining trip photos and decided that what's left isn't worth the bandwidth, except for one. The one I'm posting tonight sums up the whole trip. It's holds the reason for the trip and why I'll always be happy we went. A mother and her son...



This was her first time out of the United States, and her loving son got to take her. What could be better?

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By the way, for anyone interested in such things... you know how I always say that I don't put the full-size originals online? Well, this time, if you click on the photo, you'll get an only slightly cropped version of the photo. So you can see what the "normal" files from this camera look like (and I can make them bigger, if I want, but still... this will give you an idea. So go ahead and click it!). :)