Yes, she was that special

Today, I was going through some mail (we get way too much, and I often have to spend some time on the weekends sorting through it and throwing stuff out). One piece of mail was the monthly newsletter from our town library. On the front page is an announcement of their annual concert in honor of my Mom (she was in charge of community services at the library).

I wish you all could have met her. She was an amazing person. I guess it says something that they're still running the concerts "in honor of our beloved Marilyn" three years after she died, with every intention of continuing them every year.

Honestly, the announcement of this year's concert is heartwarming. Then I went into the kitchen to show it to Marc. That was good, too. I felt good. And then I turned to our eldest dog, Bernice. Bernice and my Mom were quite taken with each other. I turned the paper in Bernice's direction (no, I don't think she can read it) and said, "Bernice, did you see this about Grandma?" With the word Grandma, her whole face fell. She looked so upset, and I felt my own pain come surging back. So then I went to pet her, and we comforted each other.

But I think that's the real tribute. Not the concert. The fact that the mention of my Mom to Bernice, someone who has now been gone for a third of Bernice's life, still hurts. I guess it says something for Bernice's sweetness, too. Whatever it says, our sweet dog sure brought me back down to reality!

No, you're not gay

I freely accept that you are not gay, Senator Craig. Perhaps your true sexuality has been telling you that you are since the first time you beat off to thoughts of other guys, but you shouldn't be able to proudly call yourself gay.

What you clearly are is a hate-filled, self-loathing, closet-case bigot who has done more in your selfishness to support homophobia and endorse hatred than anyone else in recent days, all so you can protect your ass from the constituent-based fucking it's about to get.

No, that strapping blond guy in the next stall isn't going to have his way with you, but the voters are. Serves you right, but you deserve far worse than that! (And I do love that your "colleagues" are the first ones to offer rope for the noose.)

You've told Mr. & Mrs. Average American that this is what gay life is about. Well, I am a gay man, and this isn't what my life is about, nor has it ever been. I'm a hard-working, tax-paying, voting, full participant in American life. I am a patriot, a homeowner and a loving partner.

Back in my dating days? Yes, I went out to clubs and dated men. That's how a gay man usually lives when he's single. But I never would have considered hitting on random strangers in an airport bathroom! What kind of sick, twisted, fucked up old closet case is thinking he can get some off the young stud in the next stall by tapping out the 1812 Overture with his wingtips and waving semaphore flags under the stall or whatever you did, you repulsive old pervert.

Yes, shit-for-brains, that's lewd conduct. I'd have you arrested, too, if you peeked into my stall and then tried to hit on me. It's not a matter of being gay. It's a matter of being a fucking sicko.

Instead of living your true life, it has come to this. The saddest part is that you have indirectly hurt countless honest, upstanding gay citizens by your actions. I'm not a very religious person, but people like you do make me hope there's a time to answer to God, so you can explain how you built your career on hatred and bigotry and couldn't even be honest when faced with what you've become.

I have many gay friends. Some are in monogamous relationships like mine. Some date now and then. Others have dated lots of guys, just like I've known straight guys who have dated lots of girls. All of these friends are good people, and their dating lives are honest approaches to what they want and need. What none of them do is pretend to be straight and attack other gay men for their own personal gain the way you do. More to the point, none of them are trolling the men's rooms at JFK, hitting on random strangers in the stalls.

Do us all a favor, scumbag. Tell the world the truth, that you're not what gay life is about, and then do the honorable thing, Samurai-style, and disembowel yourself on the Capitol steps.

Amazing what these planes can do

I've never seen anything quite like these. There are a few landings shown in this video. Each one shows a large jet landing while twisted to the side to fight very heavy crosswinds, but I couple of them are sufficient to cause gasps and/or shock-induced expletives.

Take a look. It's amazing stuff!

BTW, I don't know what the text says in the video. I believe the test flights were done in Brazil, so maybe that explains it.

And I wonder if the onboard computers were doing the maneuvering during those landings. Probably. If the pilots were actually handling that manually, I'm really amazed.

On The Bay

Each year, LIGALY holds an event called On The Bay. This year's honorees were a state legislator who has supported GLBT causes and Carson Kressley of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy fame. I was joined at the event by my other half and two dear friends of ours.


Jeff and my beloved Marc


Michael the sex machine (he said I should call him that)

The weather didn't cooperate (it was a gray day), but it still was a nice event. Right on the water, as the name implies, this fundraiser is held at the home of a supporter. The food wasn't fabulous, but there still were any number of things worth eating...







(Now let's see if any of the above boys read this blog. If they do, I bet I'll hear about this!) :)

Even if they didn't have such cute boys to ogle, it would have been fun. Of course, I had good friends along, so it didn't take much to make it fun!

I know I shouldn't be proud, but...

This is our nephew Owen...



Owen is 4 years old. Owen has many activities. One that he occasionally enjoys is punching a mini-punching bag in the basement of his house. As he will tell you, his dad has taught him that he's not to hit anyone unless they hit him first.

Well, he was at the public pool the other day. As his father watched, he approached two kids who were playing together to see if he could play with them. One of the kids turned around and hit Owen in the stomach. Owen knew the rules. He'd been hit, so he was free to respond. The kid who hit Owen in the stomach got a fist to the head and was knocked unconscious.

I know I shouldn't be proud of my 4-year old nephew for an act of violence, but I'm glad he stood up for himself. He didn't start the fight, but he finished it and that works for me.

This has gone too far!

The gun culture in this country is out of control. The NRA and the rest of the gun nuts are way too in love with their guns. I knew there were lots of magazines to encourage, support and entertain the gun nuts (Guns & Ammo, Guns Magazine... there's even Garden & Gun magazine), but they've hit a new low. I saw this in a store in NYC's lovely Penn Station this evening...


Because dogs need firearms!

I'm sorry, but we don't need to be arming our dogs! I love my dogs as much as anyone and deny them virtually nothing, but this is where I draw the line! I say, no guns for dogs, and I'm standing firm on that!

An effort worthy of support

If any of you are inclined to give to charity in the near future, we have a friend who can use your support.

Adam Josephs is a member (and former President) of our rugby team, the Gotham Knights. To celebrate his 40th birthday, instead of throwing a big party and looking forward to presents, he has decided to participate in Braking the Cycle 2007, a 275 mile, 3 day bicycle ride supporting the fight against HIV/AIDS.

Adam is trying to raise $10,000 to support this noble cause. If you can do anything to help, please go here and give whatever you can.

Thank you!

Enough of these roadside memorials!

Someone died in a car crash. That's too bad, but does every one of these tragedies require a (typically cheesy and poorly made) memorial to be built where the crash happened? Is that what needs to be remembered? Is that someone special's life best summed up with a makeshift memorial where they crashed? Was dying in a car crash the person's greatest achievement?

Today, I saw one that had taken this questionable practice to new lows. Apparently, the departed's last bit of driving involved a Porsche (or maybe he just loved the cars). Anyhow, someone apparently had a couple of flower arrangements made, including one made to look like the Porsche logo/crest. So what did this do? It gave the gang of idiots that constitutes my fellow commuters yet another excuse to drive two miles per hour and gawk at something. Like rubbernecking at accidents isn't bad enough!

So what better tribute to someone who died in a car crash than to set up a distraction that should inevitably cause another crash? Nice job!

Revisionist bullshit

This article about a film on atomic bombing survivors dishonors the memories of Holocaust victims and survivors with this line:

The uncomfortable footage of cities reduced to rubble and grotesquely deformed survivors has received relatively little circulation because -- unlike the well-recorded Holocaust -- this was something done by Americans, Sheila Nevins, head of HBO's documentary unit, said.

As well as dishonoring victims of the Holocaust, it insults the Americans who fought World War II. The bombings are on the moral level with the unfathomable acts of genocide perpetrated by the Nazis? Anyone who thinks that either had terrible education or is simply a complete moron.

The Holocaust was genocide, carried out on a previously unimaginable scale. It was inflicted upon people because of their minority status, not because they were combatants or even residents of an enemy city. It was a systematic effort to murder people of certain religion, ethnicity, etc., wiping out whole peoples forever.

The bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were attacks against enemy cities designed to bring the Empire of Japan to its knees (a nation known for fine accomplishments like the Rape of Nanking, the bombing of Pearl Harbor, the enslavement and murder of countless civilians in the countries it invaded, the brutal murder of POWs... the list goes on and on). Were civilians killed? Certainly. Civilians also were killed in the bombings of London, Tokyo, Dresden, Hamburg, Stalingrad and many, many other cities. War is a nasty, horrible thing, and the warring countries bombed each other's cities in an effort to do sufficient damage to shift the balance in their favor.

Think Hiroshima and Nagasaki were bad? Take a look at the death toll from the fire bombings of Tokyo not long before (by one estimate, 83,000 dead in one night, and that number may be conservative). That was a higher number than each of the atomic bomb blasts killed, and those people often died slower, more agonizing deaths than the people in the cities hit by atomic bombs. Of course, being on the receiving end of any of this isn't a good thing. The point is that it all was done with the same goal: to win the war.

That's not what the Nazi Germans were doing to the Jews and others. Those acts had nothing to do with winning the war. They were simply barbaric mass murders.

I'm just glad the Japanese didn't call our bluff and wait to see if we had any more atomic bombs, because we didn't. We would have made more, of course, but that would have taken a while. For right then, when we were trying to avoid the need to invade Japan, we were out of them. If they had called our bluff, it would have meant many more American casualties, and, in all probability, many more Japanese casualties as we went on bombing their cities to ash.

HBO's Sheila Nevins and the CNN people who put her assertion in the story should be ashamed of themselves. What a slander on the people who brought that horrific war to an end! I just hope the film that led to the article is more sensible in its view.

What a horse!

This is an amazing video of an amazing animal. It's worth watching, and she just keeps getting better as the performance continues!

My every bridge-crossing fear come true (except that I wasn't on it)

I was going to say that I was making up the word "daymare," but it's actually in Dictionary.com.

Throughout my life, I've had many little daymares while crossing bridges. Living on an island, bridges are a part of life. Still, there was always this little worry that one could collapse with me on it. Given the size of many of our suspension bridges around here, the fall alone, buckled in or not, would likely be fatal. If not, drowning would be a real possibility.

Still, despite occasional spectacular failures, like the Tacoma Narrows Bridge, I've lived comfortably with the thought that the chances of a modern bridge collapsing with cars on it, plunging them into a river, was extremely unlikely. Sort of like nervousness about flying. Could something happen? Sure, anything can happen, but it's very unlikely, so why worry about it?

Now comes this...



That, Ladies and Germs, is what remains of the Interstate 35W bridge across the Mississippi River in Minneapolis. During rush hour tonight, it collapsed. Fortunately, pieces of the roadbed seem to have stayed out of the water, but, sadly, not all of it. There are fatalities, and divers are searching in the water. What a mess! I just hope there are no other victims under that mess. What a sad day!

Flooding update

As I mentioned in my last post, we were having a flooding problem in our basement. As I also mentioned, we thought we'd found the source.

We determined that one of the basement window wells on the side of the house was the source of the water. It doesn't have a window well cover like the ones out front. So Marc went to search for one at the local home improvement stores. In the meantime, the rain started again full force.

Jeff and I went downstairs. While he stayed with me to help empty it as needed, I operated our Shop-Vac wet-dry vacuum. It's a 10-gallon one, and we had to empty it three times before the rain started to let up. Then once more, as it was about half full when we finished.

After the rain reduced, Jeff and I went outside and grabbed one of the front window well covers (where the roof overhangs that area, so it shouldn't be as big of an issue for it) and moved it to the problem one around the side (this was Marc's idea--he called from the road). Then we grabbed some stone blocks we had in the back of the yard and rebuilt the lip around the window well.

I carried the blocks and Jeff rebuilt the lip and then placed the relocated cover on top. I hope that will stop more flooding when the next round comes. Looking at the weather radar, more storms should be here in an hour or so, unless they break up first.

I'm just glad Jeff was here to help. He's always been a good friend, but he's really gone above and beyond today!

As safe as can be (unless he'd just stayed home)

Marc is doing some baking today. He needs some ingredients, so he decided to run out and get them. Jeff, who is visiting this weekend, went with him.

As he was leaving, the skies were looking ominous and it was starting to rain. I told him to take my car. His car, a Toyota Camry, is a pretty safe car, but I felt like my new Volvo S80 was the better choice if things were going to get bad while he was out.

I'm really glad I said what I did. Not only has it started to rain, but it's actually pouring and lighting bolts are streaking down all over the place. This is quite a storm! The lights even flickered a few times.

If he has to be out there in this mess (and, of course, he does... with apologies to the USPS, neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night nor lack of ingredients shall stay my hubby from his appointed baking), I'm glad he's in the safest car I know. Now I just wish he'd get back here. This storm is wild. Mandy is upset and hiding, and Dodger is barking at it. If I knew how to save a snapshot of the weather.com radar image right now, I would. Lots of red!

The "Oh, hail!" update: The good news is that they're back home safely. The bad news? Well, these impressive storms now include hail pelting down. Worse yet (unless, of course, a tornado is next) is that we got a flood of water in the basement. On the plus side, we think we've figured out where it's coming from, and it looks like an easy fix.

Happy Birthday, Mom

July 27th was her birthday. She was taken from us way too soon.

She was wonderful beyond words. A wonderful person and the most wonderful Mom anyone could ever hope to have. I hope she's with Dad and they're happily dancing the night away, joyous in each other's arms.

I miss her so much.

I'd forgotten about that horrible day

I was just reminded of something from way back in my memories. In my senior year of high school, my physics teacher organized a class trip to Six Flags Great Adventure. He was the worst science teacher I'd ever encountered, but this at least seemed like a good idea.

So we took a bus to southern New Jersey and spent the day riding roller coasters, etc. The date was May 11, 1984.

As we reached the end of the day, smoke started to blow across the park. By the time this started, some of us were heading back to the bus. The smoke was thick, and we ran to the bus and started to shut the handful of windows that had been opened earlier.

We didn't know what was burning right away, but we soon learned. Some of my classmates returned to the bus a bit later and told us they had been waiting in line for the haunted house when smoke started pouring out of it. It took a while for everyone to get back to the bus. A few of our lot were on a rollercoaster when the smoke started to spread, and some rocket scientist decided that stopping the cars in mid-ride would be a good idea. So they were briefly stuck in the middle of the ride as the smoke filled the air. They didn't inhale enough to need medical attention, but they certainly weren't pleased.

I was worried that the news of the fire would get to my parents before I did (since we had a roughly two-hour drive before we got back home), but that didn't happen. Later that night, the word started to spread. By the next morning, the horror of what had happened was in all the papers: 8 PEOPLE KILLED, 7 HURT IN BLAZE AT THEME PARK

I don't know if that link from the Times archive will work once I post this, but the headline really says it all. Eight people were dead.

So what reminded me of this? Well, our local news radio station, WCBS 880, is celebrating "40 Years of News Radio" by revisiting big stories from the past 40 years. I hadn't thought of that day in ages, and then they started talking about it and it all came rushing back. It's funny how we bury some memories deeper than others, only to have them come flooding back when we're reminded.

Some photos

For lack of something better to post, I'll share a few photos from last week's dud of a block party and from today.


Before the party started, I went to the LIRR station to pick up Byrne (and shot this photo through the open sunroof).


There were fun moments, like when the dragons came by.




Appropriate accompaniment for dragons.


Eventually, Marc and Byrne decided that lying on the front lawn would be as good a use of their time as any.


The kids spent some of their time inside, watching us, although Mandy came out front for part of the day and they all had backyard time.


Sometimes a girl needs more space than one step will provide.

And the few photos from today...


I spent part of the afternoon reading in the hammock out back. This was the view.


When I looked to the right, I had this nice view of the bird feeder. The sound of the camera scared the birds away, but I had a nice view of various finches for most of my time in the hammock.


This is Junior. He and his mom live under the back of our house. They think the yard belongs to them. The dogs beg to differ. It's an ongoing dispute.

That's all, folks.

Nice things to see

We went to a barbecue this afternoon. It was at the home of some friends. We knew some of the people there but not others. Among those we hadn't met before today was a couple who had brought two of their kids, a boy and girl, and a friend of the boy.

I'd guess that the two boys were around 12 or 13 years old. I occasionally noticed the friends interacting and, eventually, as I saw Marc looking at them at one point, I said, "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Marc was: "The friend is very affectionate with him."

It was clear that the son's friend has a huge crush on him. He would lean in close to talk to him and place his hands on his head and shoulders in ways that one normally doesn't see except with lovers. It was touching, really. I don't know if the father sees what's going on, but maybe he's just glad that his son has a friend who loves him. Or maybe he just thinks they're too young for it to mean anything.

The really funny thing is that the one who apparently has the crush is the far better looking of the two. In fact, unless his looks change a lot over the coming years, he is going to be a strikingly handsome man. (Now where were such affectionate, handsome boys when I was that age?)

This display of affection was nice to see. Of course, they're kids, so who knows what, if anything, might come of it in the years ahead. I just hope they stay good friends, since the caring is so very clearly there.

After the barbecue, we did a quick run to Trader Joe's for some groceries. Then we drove down to the beach. As we drove along bridges over the water, we opened the sun roof and enjoyed the gorgeous sunset. Thin, high clouds were lit a beautiful pink by the setting sun, and the rippling water was shimmering beautifully.

Just one nice thing after another today.

So full of shit

The weather prognosticators and talking heads on TV are such bullshit artists. Yesterday morning, we had a small typhoon here. My roughly 10 mile drive to work took almost two hours, due to flooded out roads, and we had water in the basement (not much, thankfully). There even was a tornado east of us... A Long Island style tornado. Not a Kansas F-5. More like an F-minus one (it just knocked over some trees and fences).

So did the weather idiots predict any of this? Not at all. I didn't expect a tornado prediction, of course, but maybe "the possibility of heavy rain" or words to that effect. Not a bit of it. The night before, they said something about afternoon and evening storms, but nothing about torrential downpours for the morning commute.

Of course, having completely botched the forecast for yesterday, they're trying to redeem themselves by overreacting today. Typical forecast for today: "OH MY GOD! EVERYONE RUN FOR IT! GET INTO THE CELLAR! DEFINITE CHANCE OF SCATTERED HURRICANES AND TORNADOES! POSSIBLE HAIL AND LOCUSTS!! IF YOU'RE STILL ALIVE TOMORROW, TUNE IN FOR COVERAGE OF THE DEVASTATION!!!"

Um, yeah. Yesterday, the surprise storm dropped an average of about 4 inches of rain in an hour or so.

Now? It's drizzling.

Assholes.

No, I don't want a business affiliation

I received an e-mail today that complimented me on the content of my website and asked me to form an affiliation with a particular gay-focused company. I must admit that I read it very quickly, so it's possible that it was a sincere comment on my site.

That, however, is unlikely. I get these e-mails every so often. I'd be willing to bet that lots of you got the same e-mail. It probably was mass-mailed to a bunch of gay blogs. I suppose there's nothing wrong with affiliating with whomever you'd like and perhaps even making some money from the deal. But that's just not my purpose here.

I'm here to share details of my life (boring though they may be), occasionally rant about politics or some other subject, and share my photos, whether they're of hot boys from the rugby matches, travel photos or the occasional family hound shot.

So I'm glad to trade blogroll links, but forming more commercial affiliations just isn't my goal at the moment. Besides, the commercial sites should know better. How many hits do they think my poor little blog gets? This isn't Towleroad or Joe.My.God!

What a name!

Were you aware that the British have a dessert called spotted dick? Sounds like a reason to rush to the doctor, but it seems that it's actually a kind of pudding (and, I suppose, remains a reason to rush to the doctor if it shows up in the way that first comes to my mind).

I don't know why I'm surprised. When we visited London last February, our hotel, the Rubens at the Palace, included a "genuine English breakfast" in the price of the room, and that breakfast caused us enough gastric distress to nearly require medical attention. So why should an appalling dessert name come as any surprise?

Still, spotted dick? Now there's a name that can use changing!