A great relief

Mandy

That pretty girl had us very worried over the past several days.

The story starts a few weeks ago. Mandy, who has had digestive issues over the years, once again was having diarrhea and other related issues (a fever, etc.). This has happened in the past, and a course of antibiotics and Lomotil always took care of it. So the vet put her on those, but the problems didn't go away.

When she went back to the vet last week, just before Christmas, he x-rayed her abdomen, and there was something there the size of a grown man's fist. He couldn't say conclusively without an ultrasound, but it looked like a large mass (just holding up the x-ray film to the light, I could see it clearly, and I normally can't make out anything on an x-ray). If it turned out to be solid, they'd need to biopsy it, but there was a good chance that a solid mass would mean... well, it would mean we'd soon be losing our little girl. I wanted to vent about it last week and thought of blogging about it, but I didn't want to bring anyone down right before Christmas (particularly since I know some of you know Mandy from visits here).

On Monday, she went back to the vet and had her ultrasound done. It took until today to get the results. It's NOT cancer. I'm so relieved that I'm nearly in tears now, just typing that. Amazingly, it's not any kind of mass. It's her stomach. Not where it should be and quite distended, so she needs some help with that, but it looks like it's a completely treatable problem.

It seems she has some kind of issue causing her stomach to back up, so we're doing smaller meals (and have been for several days) and spreading them out through the day as much as we can. Also, the vet had us pick up Pepcid from the drug store. It seems dogs can take the same medicine we do, so she's going to take half a pill twice a day to help her stomach be more comfortable and settle down.

Next week, we'll touch base with him. He may do another x-ray then to see where things are. She has a small nodule on her spleen, but he's not too concerned about that. We just have to help her get her digestion straightened out. If it doesn't resolve on its own, they may do endoscopy or (and I really hope this isn't needed) exploratory surgery to try to fix what ails her. So she may have some unpleasant (and expensive, of course) things ahead, but at least it looks like she'll be okay in the end. Considering that I was literally in tears last week, thinking she might be dying, this isn't so bad!

Tired

Last night, we stayed out quite late. It was for a good reason. Our friend Jerry Dixon was doing a holiday show, with the help of others, including his partner (and a man we're also privileged to call a friend), Mario Cantone.

Jerry has performed on Broadway, and he has the voice to carry it off. He was amazing, as was every guest singer who joined in, among them Tony Award winner LaChanze--she was amazing. Words can't begin to do her justice.

A real surprise was that there were a number of Jerry's colleagues from the entertainment world in the audience, and he got them to participate in some amazing riffing near the end of the show. The whole thing was just a joy.

The tough part was that the show didn't even start until 9:30, and this was a "school night." By the time we got home, it was about 1am. Then the night got to be even more wonderful, as my husband was in full-out honeymoon mode. Far be it from me to pass up on that, so we were up much later. It all was worth it! Wow, was it worth it! ;)

But now I am tired. And, of course, I had a meeting after work tonight.

Speaking of that (and I was thinking I was going to end the post a few lines ago, but then I remembered this part), last week the LI GLBT Network held a town hall meeting after the NY Senate defeated the marriage equality bill. At the town hall, I got up and spoke. I really don't have the energy to really try to recap all of what I said, but it went really well. I got a round of applause and people congratulating me when I went back to my seat. Fast-forward to tonight...

Tonight's meeting was a group of lawyers and judges I belong to. One of the presenters at tonight's meeting is a lawyer who was at the town hall last week. I asked him about what he'd be presenting, and he said, "whatever I say tonight, it can't begin to compare to your speech from last week." I felt so proud. Wish my Mom could have been there! :)

Maybe the mean people have it right

I don't really mean that. Mean people suck, and I'll never change my opinion on that. Still, sometimes I wish I could just tell some people to hit the road. When someone is doing the "woe is me" routine, I can't just tell them to fuck off. If they had encountered some serious heartache (illness--their own or a loved one's--or long-term unemployment or the loss of a loved one), then I could understand the melancholy. But the ones who just want to wallow in it really drive me nuts.

Through the years, I've also had the good fortune to know people who pushed on, no matter what happened. Not that they didn't get sad or upset, but they didn't take that as their long-term license to drag everyone else down.

I always try to be optimistic. I think it's the smart way to live. Yes, life has its pain, no question. I've gotten through my fair share. Still, what's the point of worrying about the bad things that could happen?

Back to my original point... I'm too nice to some people, and that gives some the feeling that they're free to dump on me. This Intertubes thingie has just made it worse. Going back to my days on IRC, I was way too supportive to people who didn't want support; they just wanted to spread misery.

Now comes Facebook. Mostly, it's a fun way to keep up with friends, but I recently got a friend request from a guy from overseas. We had a mutual friend in common, so I said okay to the friend request (even though I usually limit that to people I know). At this point, I suspect the mutual friend doesn't really know him, either, but that's another matter.

This guy chats with me whenever he sees me online. It's always the same thing. He needs a job, but you only can get one if you "know someone" or pay someone off. He wants to go out with someone, but he's afraid of what will happen. And on and on.

His problems may well be real--although I've also learned the hard way that people are quite bold online and make things up with impunity--but what am I supposed to do about it? I've encouraged him to tackle his problems head-on, talk to friends to find work, take whatever jobs he can and build from there, etc. Regarding dating, what can I really say? He says he's bi, but, from what he says, he really seems to be gay but scared. Given where he lives (even worse homophobia than here), I can understand that, but what can I do about it?

I've given him what advice I can, over and over again, but he just seems to enjoy having a pity party. I dread seeing him online, and it makes me hesitate to even go onto Facebook. I know I should "unfriend" him. I also should delete him from Yahoo IM, as he asked to be on there, too.

I just feel so mean cutting this guy off. Still, I don't owe him anything. I'm tempted to say, "you have to stop dumping on me, or I'll unfriend you," but I don't know if there's any point. We don't seem to have much in common. Maybe I should just make a quick, clean break. However I do it--if I do it--I know I'll feel guilty. Of course, this is why it has been week after week of being depressed by someone I've never met (and, in all likelihood, never will meet).

This probably is a flaw on my part. *sigh* No, I don't want to be a mean person, but it would simplify some things!

Interesting times

You may know the curse, "may you live in interesting times."

In a sign of the enduring bigotry of so many people, and the enduring cowardice of so many politicians, the New York State Senate yesterday soundly defeated legislation that would have granted marriage equality. Those who follow me on Facebook already saw a rant or two. I could go on about the factual inaccuracy of those who claim religion has a place in our government. Anyone who truly knows what the Founding Fathers believed knows that they were very strongly against religion playing a role in the government. Separation of church and state was a vital requirement for them.

I also could go on about how recent events are driven by ignorance, hatred and tyranny of the majority. But if so many really are worried about the sanctity of marriage, then I guess it's time to outlaw divorce, as some have proposed. Certainly, there's no greater threat to marriage than divorce. In fact, Marc and I got married in Connecticut, but we've seen no destructive impact on straight marriages, despite our efforts. We were told our wedding would be a threat, but all of the straight married couples we know stubbornly refuse to have their marriages destroyed by our getting married. So I guess we're not the big threat; time to go after divorce!

Okay, I'll stop. And yes, that was me not going on about this. I really could write quite a bit.

In another interesting development (and on a completely different subject), a local university announced that it is eliminating its football program. The football program was started in 1937, but the university decided it could no longer justify the expense. I'm not sure what to make of this, but I can't imagine it happening if not for this amazingly crappy economy.

So I know what you're thinking: this is too depressing. Just show us more rugby photos. My, you're so pushy. Well, fine...















That should hold you for now. Seriously, I hope you like those. More to come! :)