Thursday, May 26, 2005

When hearing it isn't good

Warning: this post will make reference to dog flatulence. Leave now, if you wish.

Still here? Well, this is posted almost in real time--at least, as fast as I can type. I'm sitting here, taking a break from chores. I tied up some large carpet remnants, moving them from the office to the furnace room. I've broken up boxes, thrown out trash and done other fun things. So now I'm on my union break. ;)

While sitting here, I heard the audible expulsion of some rather wet-sounding flatulence. Well, it sure wasn't me! In fact, the sound came from the direction of a certain dog I know. This sound was followed by a few more similar sounds.

When we were kids, we referred to certain gaseous expulsions as SBDs--that meant that they were "silent but deadly." The general juvenile wisdom was that one was better off suffering with audible flatulence. In the case of dogs, however, virtually all of their gas escapes in silence, as they have no butt cheeks.

On rare occasions, they will somehow have things positioned at the exhaust pipe end so that there is some sound. In this case, a few separate ones in a row, and I'm frightened! Dog gas in noxious enough. Multiple rounds of audible air biscuits are likely to be fatal.

Even Mandy lifted her head up to look toward her own butt, wondering what that noise might be.

This may be my last post. I expect that when the cloud wafts over this way, I'll be overcome, dying of chemical gas poisoning. Just thought I should let you know.

4 comments:

epicurist said...

Good god, you made me laugh so hard! Ahhh, the love from a dog is like no other. My pooch Kalyx has a horrible stank ass, especially after she gets wet food or after she eats an apple. But we still love how comical they are don't we?

PatCH said...

Air biscuits? LOL.

Pony said...

Eeeeeeeewww. Gross.

By the way, are you still alive?

SAMerican Revolution said...

What are feeding that Poor Pooch?? Maybe burritos and cabbage? Maybe he needs some Bean-O pills.