Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Now THAT is bad sex

I've heard about people having bad sexual experiences. Now, I'll admit that some partners were better than others, and certainly one time can be better than another with the same partner. Even so, I can't say I ever had a bad sexual experience. I mean, I never really felt sorry for having taken the time to engage in whatever my partner at the time and I had done. So I guess I've been lucky.

Still, despite the stories friends have told me about "bad sex", I think I've found a new low. Well, I only read about it, thankfully. An appeals court in Massachusetts was dealing with a case involving a straight couple (those pervs) engaged in a "long-term committed relationship" who were having sex when she did something that eventually led to him suing her for negligence.

Apparently, the defendant was on top of the plaintiff when she changed positions in such a way that she caused a penile fracture! According to the court, she "did not think about the possibility of injury to the plaintiff . . . Although this was generally a position the couple had used before without incident, the defendant did vary slightly the position previously used, without prior specific discussion and without the explicit prior consent of the plaintiff."

Oy vey. This is probably because they're straight. If men and women were meant to have sex with each other, God wouldn't have given us in vitro fertilization (or turkey basters, for that matter!). Every sensible person knows this. Now this man has paid a high price for his strange sexual practices!

So sad.

(Oh, if you're wondering, the court threw out the guy's claim.)

9 comments:

David said...

OMG - this is the funniest post. I love it.

Wayne said...

penile fracture.... I wonder what exactly the position she was in....

MzOuiser said...

Damn. All I ever broke was hearts. ;)

Andy said...

A penile "fracture"? Hard is one thing; this guy was brittle! He should have practiced some dick yoga or something to increase flexibility and stamina.

Jase said...

Ouch.. that's why women are evil (no offense MzOuiser!)

SAMerican Revolution said...

Ahh...he had it coming, the sick bastard. (had it 'coming', get it? get it? bwahahahaha)

Mr. H.K. said...

This is the kind of post that gives me nightmares! *Shudder*

Bruce said...

No, no, no! "Boner" is just an expression!

Chris Owens said...

Yeah...I've always said that sex is like pizza. Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good.