Lacking much to say, I'll share some fun and/or interesting quotes (with thanks to the people at the Quotations Page):
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." -Redd Foxx
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man." -Mark Twain (also Dodger)
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." -Woody Allen
"On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away." -Tom Lehrer
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together...." -Carl Zwanzig
"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk." -Rita Rudner
"One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." -A. A. Milne
"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there." -George Burns
"We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by." -Will Rogers
"It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway." -Evan Esar
"The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best - and therefore never scrutinize or question." -Stephen Jay Gould
"The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents." -Nathaniel Borenstein
"I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top." -An English Professor
"New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move." -David Letterman
"No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather." -Michael Pritchard
"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch." -Orson Welles
"If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done." -Peter Ustinov
"Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television." -David Letterman
"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function." -Unknown
"Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when they are wearing dark glasses and have streamers in their antlers because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot." -Ellen DeGeneres
1 comment:
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
I hope I don't die in a hospital. My goal is a stroke on the tennis court when I'm 72 on a bright sunny day and be gone before I hit the clay. That's the plan.
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