Rowdy children in restaurants

Today's Times had this article in the "National Report" section: At Center of a Clash, Rowdy Children in Coffee Shops. It's about restaurants where they've started to tell parents that children need to behave. The first one mentioned has a sign that says, "children of all ages have to behave and use their indoor voices when coming to A Taste of Heaven." The owner, Dan McCauley, has been getting grief from some parents.

I think children can be adorable. I also think parents need to take some responsibility for the behavior of their kids. Many simply don't, and then they have the nerve to be upset if other people call them on it.

In response to the article, I just sent the following letter to the Times. I don't know if they'll print it, but I at least want to share it here...

Bravo to Dan McCauley for taking a stand, not against children but against parents who abdicate their responsibility to control the behavior of their children. Might a child sometimes cry out or protest loudly, often without warning? Of course, but that’s not the real issue. Many parents think nothing of letting their children affect the peace and comfort of other diners.

The blame for a child showing up at my table or staring over my shoulder from the next booth rests squarely on the shoulders of the parents. To those groups of parents who bring larger groups of children with them, placing themselves at one end of a table, or even at an adjacent table, while they gather the children together so that they can have fun and grow unceasingly in volume, I must ask why their “right” to bring their children to a public establishment should trump my right to quiet enjoyment of a meal.

Of the establishments mentioned in the article, none is saying they don’t want children around. They’re saying they don’t want disruptive children around. There’s a big difference. The well-mannered children of parents who are present and attentive to their responsibilities aren’t the issue.

As children, decades ago, my brothers and I would be taken to Sunday dinner at a local restaurant by our parents. We never got to roam freely and bother other diners, and, if we began to misbehave, our parents would tell us that we’d be left with a babysitter next time unless we acted appropriately. No one ever needed to raise a hand to us. Instead, we were told the standards of conduct when one was dining out, and we were expected to adhere to those standards. We were treated like adults, and, with some exceptions, each of which was quickly addressed, we acted like adults. Today’s parents should worry more about the behavior they condone in their children than they do about restaurants and diners who have the backbone to speak their minds about the rambunctious children in their midst.