Sunday, November 04, 2007

The mature gay couple

Yesterday, I was chatting with a young (26) friend who is in the early days of a relationship. His new guy sounds very special, and my friend is head over heels in love.

He was telling me about all of the fun things they've been doing, including the one time they made love. The excitement, the spontaneity, the sheer joy.

I couldn't help but contrasting that with my sex life. Sex with Marc is still great (and joyous), but spontaneous? We more often "find time" for sex. It's usually something on the schedule for the day.

Today is an example. We had a number of things to do. Yes, Marc tells me, we're going to have sex. But first we needed to use the power washer to clean up the mess from crabapples that rotted on the tree out back and then fell to the ground, making a terrible mess. We had to plan our meals for the day. A run to Home Depot was needed. Various other things need to get done. Then we'll have sex.

I suppose that's the way it goes. It's hard for things to have the newness and excitement of those early days when so much time has passed. Don't get me wrong. I love Marc, and I'm very lucky to have such a special person as my partner. But I also counseled my friend to savor every moment of his new relationship. Those are special days. I remember our early days well, but that special excitement only comes once. Such is life.

6 comments:

Patrick said...

Yes, that honeymood phase is precious and short-lived. It's been nearly a decade since I experienced it, and I don't even have the scheduled sex to look forward to... oh it's been years.

Okay, time to go find some chocolate.

Angie said...

Mmm, the joys of the honeymoon period of a relationship. While spontaneity is fun, I would prefer the tried and true relationship you have...

Jess said...

Patrick: I see that photo of you. I have to think there are plenty of guys who would be happy to fix that sex drought. Finding a guy who is a keeper is tougher, but sex can be had, right?

Angie: I know what you mean, and I wouldn't trade Marc for anything, but that excitement was always something special! Maybe I need a head injury, so I'll think he's new to me! ;)

Tuna Girl said...

I don't know. Sometimes I think you can cycle back around to that honeymoon sex. Or maybe that is just the reward we get for enduring long separations.

All I know is that after sixteen years the sex has only gotten better and better.

Tuna Girl said...

p.s. Apparently, I'm old.

Jess said...

Tuna: Oh, the sex is great, but there's a level of excitement that's special to those early days. In your case, as you said, it may well be that the long separations make a difference.