Wednesday, August 29, 2007

No, you're not gay

I freely accept that you are not gay, Senator Craig. Perhaps your true sexuality has been telling you that you are since the first time you beat off to thoughts of other guys, but you shouldn't be able to proudly call yourself gay.

What you clearly are is a hate-filled, self-loathing, closet-case bigot who has done more in your selfishness to support homophobia and endorse hatred than anyone else in recent days, all so you can protect your ass from the constituent-based fucking it's about to get.

No, that strapping blond guy in the next stall isn't going to have his way with you, but the voters are. Serves you right, but you deserve far worse than that! (And I do love that your "colleagues" are the first ones to offer rope for the noose.)

You've told Mr. & Mrs. Average American that this is what gay life is about. Well, I am a gay man, and this isn't what my life is about, nor has it ever been. I'm a hard-working, tax-paying, voting, full participant in American life. I am a patriot, a homeowner and a loving partner.

Back in my dating days? Yes, I went out to clubs and dated men. That's how a gay man usually lives when he's single. But I never would have considered hitting on random strangers in an airport bathroom! What kind of sick, twisted, fucked up old closet case is thinking he can get some off the young stud in the next stall by tapping out the 1812 Overture with his wingtips and waving semaphore flags under the stall or whatever you did, you repulsive old pervert.

Yes, shit-for-brains, that's lewd conduct. I'd have you arrested, too, if you peeked into my stall and then tried to hit on me. It's not a matter of being gay. It's a matter of being a fucking sicko.

Instead of living your true life, it has come to this. The saddest part is that you have indirectly hurt countless honest, upstanding gay citizens by your actions. I'm not a very religious person, but people like you do make me hope there's a time to answer to God, so you can explain how you built your career on hatred and bigotry and couldn't even be honest when faced with what you've become.

I have many gay friends. Some are in monogamous relationships like mine. Some date now and then. Others have dated lots of guys, just like I've known straight guys who have dated lots of girls. All of these friends are good people, and their dating lives are honest approaches to what they want and need. What none of them do is pretend to be straight and attack other gay men for their own personal gain the way you do. More to the point, none of them are trolling the men's rooms at JFK, hitting on random strangers in the stalls.

Do us all a favor, scumbag. Tell the world the truth, that you're not what gay life is about, and then do the honorable thing, Samurai-style, and disembowel yourself on the Capitol steps.

4 comments:

CoffeeDog said...

"by tapping out the 1812 Overture with his wingtips and waving semaphore flags under the stall"

Priceless!

Eric said...

Such a sad, sad situation. I almost feel sorry for him because our country and its "morality police" have really helped perpetuate this kind of lifestyle.
I say almost because no one's forced him to be such a legislative homobigot.

Todd HellsKitchen said...

It reminds me that in that awful homo-phobic book "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Sex But Were Afraid to Ask" (1960s?), it mentions scenarios like this toe tapping with "the right foot" and something about bathrooms in bowling alleys...

It is all so self-loathing...

I feel sorry for his wife... Not for this incident, but what it's been like having to live with this guy all these years...

Also, in the pictures he is obviously wearing Designer eyewear...

So, C'MON! I mean: REALLY!

Andy said...

I'd have you arrested, too, if you peeked into my stall and then tried to hit on me. It's not a matter of being gay.

Ditto. If someone reached under the stall while I was trying to use the restroom, I'm likely to break their hand with a swift kick. That is DISGUSTING. If you're into anonymous quickies, go to an adult bookstore or someplace that's set up as a space to do that, don't go harassing people who just need to PEE, especially with kids around. I'm gayer than a Christmas goose but don't want to be subjected to flirtation from some geezer in a bathroom. EW.